Recent events have given me pause to reflect the past few days. Our week was interrupted in a way by a call from Daisy's OB/GYN who wanted an appointment to discuss the results of her last blood test. In a nutshell, the test indicated an increased "risk" of our baby having Down's Syndrome. Although the doctor was quick to stress that the uncertainty of our due date may have a significant role in this test, this result really gave us a lot to think about.
I think I am the more easy-going of the two of us because, although I would naturally prefer a healthy normal baby, I readily accept that whatever the outcome I will roll with it as best I can. Daisy however was hit much harder than I was with this news. Busy husband that I was, I did not pick up on this fact as quickly as I should have and that did not help matters much. Daisy is still tender (emotionally) after the loss of our second child (Ammon) to a premature birth so this news opened that wound and expanded it. After a visit from our Bishop and a Blessing she was doing a bit better but still very reflective.
All of this happened on Wednesday. On Friday we went to the temple as is our weekly routine. Because I had a cold we decided to just do Initiatory work that evening. I have had a an interesting goal ever since I received my own Endowment in 2004, to commit the temple ordinances to memory. Not that doing that would be any sort of achievement by itself, but doing so would help me in my quest to gain more understanding of them. I feel that it frees me up from the 'mechanics' of the temple experience to be able to concentrate on the spirit and meaning of the temple ordinances. We have done Initiatory work enough lately that I was really able to spend this time in reflection and had a wonderful peaceful feeling as we concluded our temple visit.
Saturday morning I had another, very different, temple experience. The youth from our ward went to do Baptisms for the dead. The young women went early in the morning and I went with the young men at 9:15. I have to admit that I was expecting to have the same young men that I had on Wednesday when we went skating. When I got to the chapel to pick them up I saw something I did not anticipate. These same young men were sitting quietly, talking in hushed voices. None of the rough play and noise that I am used to. Throughout the morning, on the rides to and from, and while inside the Temple these amazing young men were Reverent and Respectful! they had an enthusiasm for the activity, but were also touched by the sacred nature of it as well! Their actions added so much to the experience and I again found that I was able to freely enjoy the Spirit in the temple again.
Today we attended our Sunday services and I found a lot of help and direction in all of the talks and lessons that I heard. I always seem to be able to pull strength from these meetings, but I found myself 'tuned in' more today than usual. The afternoon at home was quiet and I had a chance to put all of these days experiences together in my mind.
I tend to ramble on a bit when writing and tonight is no exception to that, but I think all of this has a common thread for me. Heavenly Father always provides strength for me when I need it and ask for it. After the news from the doctor both of us really needed a boost and I am thankful to my God for loving me enough to to give me the boost I needed! I am also grateful for a loving (and forgiving) wife! As I have always said (usually in a joking way) "If I count 10 fingers and 10 toes, that's all I want". Those words have a more significant meaning now, but they are still true. Whatever the ultimate outcome of this pregnancy, the result will be a glorious Gift from a Loving Heavenly Father and I will be humbled (again) by the trust He has put in me to care for one of his precious spirits.
Heaven has been very near these past few days... and I want to keep it that way.
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