5:00 AM... The alarm is blasting in my ear. As the fog blows off my mind I remember why it is going off and start to pry my self loose from the pillow. Got to get the kids ready to go.
5:15 AM... Take the kids off to stay with a friend for the day. Back to the house to load Daisy up with her overnight bag. Grab my day pack.
5:35 AM... We're off to the hospital. Daisy is going in to remove a potentially cancerous tumor on her thyroid.
6:00 AM... Daisy gets checked in and comfortable, or as comfortable as one can be in a backless flannel smock and a 2 inch garden hose stuck in your arm. The nurse flutters around like a butterfly getting everything in it's proper place. A quick meet up with the doctor and anesthesiologist and...
7:15 AM... They wheel her off to the operating room for two hours of cutting and poking and snipping...
As I settle in for the three hour wait for her to awaken from the anesthetic my mind is wandering back in time, remembering all the things we have been through together and how it all began.
Life, it seems to me, is a series of new beginnings. Moments in time that define and shape who we are. When we pass one of these defining moments we are changed, we become a different person in often subtle but sometimes dramatic ways.
Our time together began with one of those moments, a decision that set my course and put my heart in a direction that led me unwavering into a new and amazing world.
Before Daisy and I met I was a single father with three children at home. This had been my lot for 5 years. It was January of 2004 that I made the choice. I chose to look to the Philippines, the land of my nativity, to search for someone to fill the empty space in my heart.
The actual 'process' of making this choice was pretty simple, I went to the most popular Philippine dating site and opened an account. What I did not realize was how quickly my life's course would change. Twenty four hours... that is how long it took for Daisy to find my new profile and send off an email introducing herself and inquiring if I would like to email with her. After reading her online profile I answered her email and, just like that... nothing would ever be the same!
It did not take long to know that She was someone very special, someone whose life I wanted to be a part of. We quickly moved from email to online chat to online voice chat. and within a few days we were spending several hours every day chatting on our computers. I did not know it yet, but my life would never be the same after that.
Our next 'Moment' came in July of that same year when I returned to the Philippines for the first time since I had left there in 1960 as a six month old baby. My arrival in Manila was my first opportunity to see Daisy in person. You can video chat forever and not really see a person as they really are, and now I was actually there! And my sweet angel was waiting for me! We got our hotel arrangements made and went to the Manila LDS Temple as we had previously arranged. As we sat side by side through our first temple session together the course for the rest of my life (Our life) was set, and this time I recognised it in the moment it happened. Sitting in the Celestial room together I placed an engagement ring on her finger and suddenly Her life and My life became Our life, and we never looked back!
From July 2004 to May 2005 saw two more trips to the Philippines, each more amazing than the last. Our love grew stronger with every passing day, and My love for this special place and the wonderful people I met there grew as well. Finally after 14 months of chat and visits, the paperwork was finally complete and Daisy was able to come with me on the return flight to the US.
Again we met in the Temple, this time in Salt Lake City. Now we would make Eternal the bond that we had carefully built together. This moment did not change our direction, but rather reaffirmed it.
Many moments have followed in the ensuing years, some wonderful and some tragic, but each in it's own way shaping our future and forming in each of us abilities and strengths we did not know we could posses. As with every moment in our lives, each of the moments that come before serve to lead to, and prepare us for, the one we are experiencing now. Such is the case today as I wait for word from the doctor confirming the desired results of Her surgery. Each of us has been carefully prepared by a loving heavenly father for our respective roles today. Am I worried as I wait? Of course! But that is my job, to worry and watch over my Sweet Daisy. But even as I worry, I know that we are ready for whatever lies ahead for us. As always we will go, hand in hand, into Our Eternity, one moment at a time...
9:40 AM... Still waiting...
Postscript... 11:20 AM... The Doctor reports all is well. No Cancer in the preliminary tests. Daisy is resting peacfully in her room. Tomorrow, if all looks well, we go home and begin again...
Monday, December 30, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
The Giving Tree... A Message of Thanks!
We have spent a fair amount of our time over the last several months on projects involving helping others. Just over a month ago we organized our first Philippine typhoon relief efforts and gave our efforts a name (The Ammon & Abish Foundation). We have had a wonderful time working with friends, both old and new, to provide all that we could to help the people stricken by the Earthquake and Typhoon in the Philippines. This effort has been going on in our home for several years as our personal project, and then when the recent typhoon hit we decided we could not do enough on our own and invited our friends and neighbors to join in. It has been amazing to see everyone jump in with such enthusiasm and generosity! Today though, the tables were turned on our little family and we were on the receiving end of a wonderful act of kindness.
After nearly 2 years as foster parents we recently adopted our precious foster kids. The Giving Tree program centers around helping foster families at Christmas time by providing gifts for the foster children. Today was the day for them to visit our home and deliver the gifts. The project is coordinated with the Airmen (and Women) at Hill AFB who take their own personal time and resources to come and deliver the gifts.
What these wonderful folks did not know before they arrived was that I was layed off from my work just over 2 weeks ago. Because my wonderful Wife is always on top of things, the basic Christmas fare was already under the tree at Thanksgiving. But the typical 'Big' things we like to surprise the kids with were just not in the budget this year.
We have had some wonderful talks with the children about how we would be having a simpler Christmas. My 7 year old son is so amazing sometimes. He immediately responded "That's okay, because Christmas is not supposed to be about getting stuff... it's about Jesus!". Right you are, Andy! And that is what we are feeling more than ever this year!
The visit was a real joy and left a wonderful impression on our family! Having these airmen take from their already busy schedules to come to our home was especially touching for us. Having the opportunity to tell them what all this means to our family and how grateful we are for their kindness is a treasure in itself. I am not one to run up to someone in uniform and ring their hand thanking them for their service (I guess I have a little shyness left...), so it was great to have the chance to do it there in a group setting and let them all know how thankful we are that they are willing to do what they do every day so that we can enjoy the freedoms we have here in America.
I am truly humbled by the whole experience. We all want to offer our most sincere THANK YOU! to those wonderful Men and Women who took the time to visit our family (and all of the other families) today! We also want to Thank the Utah Foster Care Foundation and Molina Healthcare for providing the gifts and coordinating this gigantic effort! And of course we mustn't forget Dr Cleo (Molina's "Tiger in a Doctor Suit" Mascot)!! It was a wonderful start to our day, a much needed help for our kids Christmas, and a great reminder of the amazing people that are all around us!!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The Good, The Bad, and the... Amazing!
Reflections of a First-Time Foster Dad...
"What do think about being Foster Parents" my Wife quizzed me one day out of the blue.
"I think I don't want to raise someone else' problem kids" was about what my reply was.
The conversation went on for a bit, but I was not to be swayed. I had no desire to deal with all of the "Problems" I perceived foster care to present to my little family. We had two boys already, aged 3 and 5, and I had already brought seven children into this world and watched two of them leave just as quickly as they had come. Not withstanding my own still tender feelings over the loss of our two little ones, I also questioned whether my Wife was really ready for the "Challenges" I feared were an inevitable part of being Foster Parents. My biggest worry was whether she could let go of these children when or if the time came to return them to their parents. I really saw no upside the the idea at all, only the negatives.
I put that conversation out of my mind quickly and moved on... but my Wife did not. Within a few days I was being shown stories and information online about being Foster Parents, She can really be relentless when she becomes focused on a goal (something I Love about her). After a bit (quite a bit) more encouragement (prodding), I agreed to take the training classes with her on the basis that we would get trained and then decide whether it still sounded like a good idea for our family.
By the end of the first training session (four hours worth) I was a convert! I saw both how my Wife truly wanted the chance to help these children and how much that help was needed. I knew that it had to be all or nothing and jumped in with both feet and never looked back (well... not yet anyway, more on that later). We were now of one mind and plowed through the training as fast as we could do it. We were on a mission and nothing was going to slow us down. Thirty two hours of training, background checks, kid-proofing our home, setting up the extra bedroom, a home study (inspection), and finally we had our license... Now came the wait.
Because of our earlier loss, one Boy and one Girl (barely a year earlier), my Wife wanted a baby girl. We talked to our RFC (Resource Family Consultant) about our desire for a baby girl and, since our license allowed, the possibility of taking two siblings if the opportunity came for us (always assuming one would be a baby girl of course). As our wait began to push on into months... one day that call finally came, there were two children, a boy and a girl. But wait... as my Wife explained it to me I looked at her quizzically. A boy, two years old (almost) and a girl, three and a half years old... "I thought we were only going to do it if there was a baby" I said. She had told the RFC that she would call back in just a few minutes and tell him our answer, so we had a short... but fateful discussion. Even though it wasn't what we had "wanted", it was what we wanted to do! Anyway, we mused, only a "Few" of the foster placements end up in adoption, the large majority of kids go back with their birth parents once the situations that separated them have been resolved.
So off to the Christmas Box House we went to meet our new family members. We had almost no background information at this point as they had been removed from their home late the previous evening and, since it was a weekend, had been taken the the CBH. We told our two boys about what we were doing and piled them in our van as we left. To say our boys were excited would be an understatement. They had their names memorized before we arrived and swept them up as though they were shiny new Christmas gifts! For their part, our little foster kids seemed just as happy to see us. And off we went home to begin the adventure that would forever change our Lives and our Family!
That was January 14, 2012... Fast Forward to October 25, 2013.
To say that being a Foster Dad (or mom for that matter) is a simple task would be a lie, but by the same token to say it is without reward would be equally false. In the nearly two years we have cared for these precious little ones we have faced the horrible reality of their previous life in startling ways, and we have watched as they have blossomed into vibrant growing, learning, and loving members of our Family. I may, at some future day, blog about some of the "challenges" and "problems" that Were, as I had first feared... and then embraced, part of being a Foster Dad. Today though it is all about the rewards.
Being a dad, for me is all about watching your children grow and progress! Being a part of their lives and helping them to live up to their potential. What I couldn't wrap my head around that first day when my Wife hit me with the idea of being Foster Parents was that I would thrill to the growth and progress of foster kids just as much I do my own. In fact as the days turned to months and then to years I found that they Are "My Own" in ways I'm still only beginning to truly understand.
So as we made the final step in bringing this family together at the Bountiful, Utah LDS Temple everything came into perfect and eternal focus. All the challenges were pushed into memory and all that mattered was the Now... and the Happily Ever After is about to begin. After all the pictures were taken and the tears and hugs were exchanged we walked to our car to leave. As we walked I called to my Wife... "Hey Sweetheart...", She turned to me... "We should do this Again!"
A little rearranging of the furniture, another home study, a little talk with the RFC... one day soon (we hope!) that phone will ring again! As for Me? I Can't Wait! ...ring...ring...ring...
"What do think about being Foster Parents" my Wife quizzed me one day out of the blue.
"I think I don't want to raise someone else' problem kids" was about what my reply was.
The conversation went on for a bit, but I was not to be swayed. I had no desire to deal with all of the "Problems" I perceived foster care to present to my little family. We had two boys already, aged 3 and 5, and I had already brought seven children into this world and watched two of them leave just as quickly as they had come. Not withstanding my own still tender feelings over the loss of our two little ones, I also questioned whether my Wife was really ready for the "Challenges" I feared were an inevitable part of being Foster Parents. My biggest worry was whether she could let go of these children when or if the time came to return them to their parents. I really saw no upside the the idea at all, only the negatives.
I put that conversation out of my mind quickly and moved on... but my Wife did not. Within a few days I was being shown stories and information online about being Foster Parents, She can really be relentless when she becomes focused on a goal (something I Love about her). After a bit (quite a bit) more encouragement (prodding), I agreed to take the training classes with her on the basis that we would get trained and then decide whether it still sounded like a good idea for our family.
By the end of the first training session (four hours worth) I was a convert! I saw both how my Wife truly wanted the chance to help these children and how much that help was needed. I knew that it had to be all or nothing and jumped in with both feet and never looked back (well... not yet anyway, more on that later). We were now of one mind and plowed through the training as fast as we could do it. We were on a mission and nothing was going to slow us down. Thirty two hours of training, background checks, kid-proofing our home, setting up the extra bedroom, a home study (inspection), and finally we had our license... Now came the wait.
Because of our earlier loss, one Boy and one Girl (barely a year earlier), my Wife wanted a baby girl. We talked to our RFC (Resource Family Consultant) about our desire for a baby girl and, since our license allowed, the possibility of taking two siblings if the opportunity came for us (always assuming one would be a baby girl of course). As our wait began to push on into months... one day that call finally came, there were two children, a boy and a girl. But wait... as my Wife explained it to me I looked at her quizzically. A boy, two years old (almost) and a girl, three and a half years old... "I thought we were only going to do it if there was a baby" I said. She had told the RFC that she would call back in just a few minutes and tell him our answer, so we had a short... but fateful discussion. Even though it wasn't what we had "wanted", it was what we wanted to do! Anyway, we mused, only a "Few" of the foster placements end up in adoption, the large majority of kids go back with their birth parents once the situations that separated them have been resolved.
So off to the Christmas Box House we went to meet our new family members. We had almost no background information at this point as they had been removed from their home late the previous evening and, since it was a weekend, had been taken the the CBH. We told our two boys about what we were doing and piled them in our van as we left. To say our boys were excited would be an understatement. They had their names memorized before we arrived and swept them up as though they were shiny new Christmas gifts! For their part, our little foster kids seemed just as happy to see us. And off we went home to begin the adventure that would forever change our Lives and our Family!
That was January 14, 2012... Fast Forward to October 25, 2013.
To say that being a Foster Dad (or mom for that matter) is a simple task would be a lie, but by the same token to say it is without reward would be equally false. In the nearly two years we have cared for these precious little ones we have faced the horrible reality of their previous life in startling ways, and we have watched as they have blossomed into vibrant growing, learning, and loving members of our Family. I may, at some future day, blog about some of the "challenges" and "problems" that Were, as I had first feared... and then embraced, part of being a Foster Dad. Today though it is all about the rewards.
Being a dad, for me is all about watching your children grow and progress! Being a part of their lives and helping them to live up to their potential. What I couldn't wrap my head around that first day when my Wife hit me with the idea of being Foster Parents was that I would thrill to the growth and progress of foster kids just as much I do my own. In fact as the days turned to months and then to years I found that they Are "My Own" in ways I'm still only beginning to truly understand.
A little rearranging of the furniture, another home study, a little talk with the RFC... one day soon (we hope!) that phone will ring again! As for Me? I Can't Wait! ...ring...ring...ring...
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
A New Day Dawns...
Today was a wonderful day for our little family, and marks the beginning of a new phase of parenthood for my Wife and I! After just over 21 months as Foster Parents we went before the judge and Legally Adopted our 2 precious Foster Children. This has been in the plans for months of course, ever since their birth parents rights were terminated. We had a grand time and made a Day out of it, including a photo shoot at the Temple in Bountiful, and a trip to our Bishop's office in the evening to give them their Name and Blessing (something I had been looking forward to as a father!).This date, of course, has great significance in our family for another reason. On this day (October 22) in 2007 My Wife and I lost our baby boy Ammon who was born premature and lived for about 45 minutes. This Friday (October 25) will mark another important date for us, the day in 2010 when We lost our precious daughter Abish who was also born premature and lived 25 minutes or so.
October has ever since been a difficult month for Us and a melancholy time of year that we tried just to endure. For this reason, and as a way to truly honor the memory of our little angel babies, we chose Today for the date for this Adoption and Friday to be the day we gather in the Temple of our God to Seal these sweet children to Us and our family for eternity!! Memories of Ammon and Abish are naturally in my mind today especially as we took a few moments out to stop at the Cemetery to visit their grave site. As bitter as was the loss of our little ones is the Joy we feel today to add these bright and vibrant souls to our family!
One cannot change their history, only their future. And today that is what we accomplished. From this day on we will be able to look forward to this time each year, ever remembering the tender feelings we have for those who were taken from us, and reveling in the joy of that which has been given to us! It has been said that "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away", but in both the 'taking' and the 'giving' I have found within myself Strength, Direction, and Purpose that I know I could not have gained in any other way!
To Ammon and Abish; I have loved you both with a love only a father, deprived of his opportunity to show it, can understand. I miss you every day and wish you could have stayed here to brighten my life. You are mine, and I yours, Always!
To my Newest Little Ones; I promise to give you all the love I have and provide the family and home that you never were afforded before you came to us! I count my life more fulfilled by your presence here and hope that I can help your lives to be so too. You too are mine, and I yours, Always!
And so, the 'circle of life' continues! What's next? Dunno... but I bet it'll be GREAT whatever it is!!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Love, Honor and Faith. Reflections on a life well lived!
My Father, Bert Fisher, passed away on August 15th 2013. His passing has set my mind in motion remembering all that his life on this earth meant to me.
I know everyone says this... but I will say it anyway! My Father was a Great Man! And like most great men, it is not until they are gone that their greatness is finally measured and acknowledged. Growing up in our home I have always known that he was someone special, even though I have not always been man (or boy) enough to say it out loud. I look back now with profound gratitude for all that he did for me growing up and the example he continued to set on into my adult life.
Greatness is measured in different ways by different people, but in the economy of eternity where God is judge of all, greatness is not simply What we do but How we do it. And my dear Father did it Right!
[adapted and expanded from my remarks at Dad's funeral]
My father was a teacher. He did not teach in a school or make his profession teaching. If someone had asked him I doubt he would have called himself a teacher, but every significant life lesson that I have learned came to me through the faithful example of my loving Father.
As a boy, Dad taught me how to fish! He showed me how to tie on a lure, how to hold the rod and turn the reel. He showed me how to cast the line and where I could have the best prospects at catching fish. He went fishing often in those days and I remember he never said 'no' when I wanted to go with him. After a little practice I actually caught a few fish, and thus began a lifelong love of fishing and the outdoors. My father taught me how to fish, but it was not really about fishing...
Years later around the time I graduated high school I went to work with my father at the Title Company where he had been employed for some time. As with so many times before my Father was again my teacher. I had to learn all the intricacies of property title searches. How to examine adjoining boundary lines for consistency and how to translate old world units of measurement (Rods, Links, Chains, etc.). After a while I began to become somewhat proficient and became a part of the group of men who worked in the basement of the county building searching title records for the various Title Companies around town. At some point early on the other men came up with a nickname for me; "The Clone". They got a great deal of pleasure out of this supposing, as they did, that it was somehow a sleight to me or to my father. Dad seemed to take it in stride as he joked back at them, as for me I quietly wore it as a badge of honor. You see, these men respected my father because he had always shown them respect and had an honest, straightforward approach to dealing with any situation. If they thought I was a "Clone" of my dad... that was fine by me! And as with the fishing, It really was not about searching property titles...
Learning to fish and how to search county records were valuable skills, each in it's own way. But that was not really what I was learning from my father. When we went fishing together we were in another world. A world where all that mattered was being together, Father and Son. I learned about the love he had for me by how he showed it in this and so many other ways. When he taught me about the working world he showed me by example that honesty and honor are not just words. I learned by watching him how treating others with respect lifts you both and forms friendships that endure.
I learned 'how' to live from my Dad, but of much more value to me and to my family now was understanding from his example the 'Why' of it all. In the mathematics of marriage and family I saw the lasting worth of bonds made strong by consistent love and kindness.
It seems almost redundant after all this to say that He was a man of great faith. Dad's love for God and His son Jesus Christ can be felt and heard through all of the things he did for us as children and how he cared for our dear Mother through decades of debilitating disease and pain. In like fashion to my lessons about life, He showed me about Faith. He did not need to 'Instruct' me in the Christian Faith (though he certainly did!), simply growing up in his shadow gave it to me point by point, taught by actions and attitudes. While we learned and practiced according to our LDS faith, I was taught to respect and honor the beliefs of others. As we traveled the world (Dad was a career officer in the US Air Force) we visited the sacred places of many other religions and we were taught to reverence these places as we did our own.
As I have let my mind travel back across the years of my life in these recent weeks bringing into better focus the role of my father in shaping who I am today, I cannot help but feel a deep gratitude for his love and example in my life. Dad did not (and could not) know the challenges that I would face as I traveled through life, but he knew the foundation upon which I could stand, and the tools I would need to conquer them and did all he could to show them to me.
Thanks Dad... for Everything! (and say Hi to Mom for Me!)
I know everyone says this... but I will say it anyway! My Father was a Great Man! And like most great men, it is not until they are gone that their greatness is finally measured and acknowledged. Growing up in our home I have always known that he was someone special, even though I have not always been man (or boy) enough to say it out loud. I look back now with profound gratitude for all that he did for me growing up and the example he continued to set on into my adult life.
Greatness is measured in different ways by different people, but in the economy of eternity where God is judge of all, greatness is not simply What we do but How we do it. And my dear Father did it Right!
[adapted and expanded from my remarks at Dad's funeral]
My father was a teacher. He did not teach in a school or make his profession teaching. If someone had asked him I doubt he would have called himself a teacher, but every significant life lesson that I have learned came to me through the faithful example of my loving Father.
As a boy, Dad taught me how to fish! He showed me how to tie on a lure, how to hold the rod and turn the reel. He showed me how to cast the line and where I could have the best prospects at catching fish. He went fishing often in those days and I remember he never said 'no' when I wanted to go with him. After a little practice I actually caught a few fish, and thus began a lifelong love of fishing and the outdoors. My father taught me how to fish, but it was not really about fishing...
Years later around the time I graduated high school I went to work with my father at the Title Company where he had been employed for some time. As with so many times before my Father was again my teacher. I had to learn all the intricacies of property title searches. How to examine adjoining boundary lines for consistency and how to translate old world units of measurement (Rods, Links, Chains, etc.). After a while I began to become somewhat proficient and became a part of the group of men who worked in the basement of the county building searching title records for the various Title Companies around town. At some point early on the other men came up with a nickname for me; "The Clone". They got a great deal of pleasure out of this supposing, as they did, that it was somehow a sleight to me or to my father. Dad seemed to take it in stride as he joked back at them, as for me I quietly wore it as a badge of honor. You see, these men respected my father because he had always shown them respect and had an honest, straightforward approach to dealing with any situation. If they thought I was a "Clone" of my dad... that was fine by me! And as with the fishing, It really was not about searching property titles...
Learning to fish and how to search county records were valuable skills, each in it's own way. But that was not really what I was learning from my father. When we went fishing together we were in another world. A world where all that mattered was being together, Father and Son. I learned about the love he had for me by how he showed it in this and so many other ways. When he taught me about the working world he showed me by example that honesty and honor are not just words. I learned by watching him how treating others with respect lifts you both and forms friendships that endure.
I learned 'how' to live from my Dad, but of much more value to me and to my family now was understanding from his example the 'Why' of it all. In the mathematics of marriage and family I saw the lasting worth of bonds made strong by consistent love and kindness.
It seems almost redundant after all this to say that He was a man of great faith. Dad's love for God and His son Jesus Christ can be felt and heard through all of the things he did for us as children and how he cared for our dear Mother through decades of debilitating disease and pain. In like fashion to my lessons about life, He showed me about Faith. He did not need to 'Instruct' me in the Christian Faith (though he certainly did!), simply growing up in his shadow gave it to me point by point, taught by actions and attitudes. While we learned and practiced according to our LDS faith, I was taught to respect and honor the beliefs of others. As we traveled the world (Dad was a career officer in the US Air Force) we visited the sacred places of many other religions and we were taught to reverence these places as we did our own.
As I have let my mind travel back across the years of my life in these recent weeks bringing into better focus the role of my father in shaping who I am today, I cannot help but feel a deep gratitude for his love and example in my life. Dad did not (and could not) know the challenges that I would face as I traveled through life, but he knew the foundation upon which I could stand, and the tools I would need to conquer them and did all he could to show them to me.
Thanks Dad... for Everything! (and say Hi to Mom for Me!)
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Finding (RA) Focus
I spend a little time each week reading blogs and Facebook posts related to RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) hoping to gain a little more insight into the condition that has become a daily reality in my life over the past 4 years. Having finally found the right combination of Miracle drugs to get my RA under control (in 'Remission', in the medical jargon), I have great empathy for those who are still searching for this result. RA, it seems, is the ultimate in 'Personalized' illness in that each individual seems to have a little different response to both the disease and the various treatment options available. As such it is difficult to say anything about my own experience and hope that it can be helpful to others suffering the effects of RA. There is an aspect of my experience that I feel can be of some help to anyone wanting better control of, and relief from, the symptoms of RA... Focus.
I have come across a common thread in many of the Blogs and Posts I read online lately. Many individuals talk about taking a 'Break' or 'Rest' from their medications. Some talk of 'Cleansing' their body by stopping the medicines. My experience with RA medications over the past several years has given me a much different perspective about the medications I am on.
My knowledge of RA begins a long time before I began to experience any symptoms myself. When I was a Teenager my Mother was diagnosed with RA. As the years passed I watched as her hands and feet slowly deformed and became unusable. After many years the disease had effected knees, hips, and shoulders as well and she could not walk without assistance. In those days there really weren't any treatments to speak of that could slow or halt the progression of the RA, most treatments were meant only relieve pain or restore motion (through joint replacement surgery). When she died (after 30+ years of suffering) she had had joint replacement on her hands, feet , knees, hips and shoulders. In the end it was not RA that took her from us, rather the side effects of a compromised immune system culminating in Pneumonia and Infection.
I don't ultimately know that much about the medications that were tried in the course of my Mothers RA. I know she took a lot of Motrin for Pain, and would have a course of Prednisone from time to time (some things never change). Toward the end of her life Methotrexate was beginning to be in use for RA treatment, but by then most of the damage to her joints had already been done.
Fast forward to my own RA history. It took my GP Physician almost a year to come up with the initial diagnosis of possible RA based on the unique pattern of inflammation that RA displayed in my hands. January of 2011 was when I finally managed to get in to a Rheumatologist (that is another story entirely) and get a definitive diagnosis and begin treatment. My doctor started out with Methotrexate and Prednisone. Once the Prednisone was removed it became clear that Methotrexate alone was not enough to get into Remission. After some more experimentation it became clear that I needed to try one of the Biologic treatments and we settled on Enbrel, because of the Encourage Foundation which would allow me access to this horribly expensive drug at no cost since I have no insurance and my income met the requirements.
My first experience with Enbrel was extremely positive. I began to see symptoms reduce within weeks and after the first 2 months or so achieved Remission. Then through a series of miscommunications I lost access to the drug after only a year of treatment. In total I was off of Enbrel for about 4 Months when I got the application process renewed and regained access to the drug. This was just long enough for my symptoms to return in force.
The second attempt at remission was sadly not as quick as the first. Nearly six months into the Enbrel this time and I still had significant symptoms and more bone erosions. Finally at about 9 months the RA finally submitted to treatment. While I still have morning stiffness and occasional flair-ups, We (My Doctor and I) are pleased with the results and hope to have this condition persist as long as we can sustain it.
This is a long post all to make a simple point about RA medications. There is no 'Cure' for this disease. 'Remission' does NOT mean that we have defeated RA. Lose Focus for a time and all the pain and stiffness and Joint damage will come back with a vengeance! Unfortunately human nature seems ready to forget pain once is is gone for a while and we think that the medications are optional. They are NOT optional and RA is quietly waiting to take over control again if we give it a chance! While each of us will have a different experience with RA, I have become convinced that Finding our Focus when it comes to whatever treatment Works for us is the Key to long term control!
Russ...
I have come across a common thread in many of the Blogs and Posts I read online lately. Many individuals talk about taking a 'Break' or 'Rest' from their medications. Some talk of 'Cleansing' their body by stopping the medicines. My experience with RA medications over the past several years has given me a much different perspective about the medications I am on.
My knowledge of RA begins a long time before I began to experience any symptoms myself. When I was a Teenager my Mother was diagnosed with RA. As the years passed I watched as her hands and feet slowly deformed and became unusable. After many years the disease had effected knees, hips, and shoulders as well and she could not walk without assistance. In those days there really weren't any treatments to speak of that could slow or halt the progression of the RA, most treatments were meant only relieve pain or restore motion (through joint replacement surgery). When she died (after 30+ years of suffering) she had had joint replacement on her hands, feet , knees, hips and shoulders. In the end it was not RA that took her from us, rather the side effects of a compromised immune system culminating in Pneumonia and Infection.
I don't ultimately know that much about the medications that were tried in the course of my Mothers RA. I know she took a lot of Motrin for Pain, and would have a course of Prednisone from time to time (some things never change). Toward the end of her life Methotrexate was beginning to be in use for RA treatment, but by then most of the damage to her joints had already been done.
Fast forward to my own RA history. It took my GP Physician almost a year to come up with the initial diagnosis of possible RA based on the unique pattern of inflammation that RA displayed in my hands. January of 2011 was when I finally managed to get in to a Rheumatologist (that is another story entirely) and get a definitive diagnosis and begin treatment. My doctor started out with Methotrexate and Prednisone. Once the Prednisone was removed it became clear that Methotrexate alone was not enough to get into Remission. After some more experimentation it became clear that I needed to try one of the Biologic treatments and we settled on Enbrel, because of the Encourage Foundation which would allow me access to this horribly expensive drug at no cost since I have no insurance and my income met the requirements.
My first experience with Enbrel was extremely positive. I began to see symptoms reduce within weeks and after the first 2 months or so achieved Remission. Then through a series of miscommunications I lost access to the drug after only a year of treatment. In total I was off of Enbrel for about 4 Months when I got the application process renewed and regained access to the drug. This was just long enough for my symptoms to return in force.
The second attempt at remission was sadly not as quick as the first. Nearly six months into the Enbrel this time and I still had significant symptoms and more bone erosions. Finally at about 9 months the RA finally submitted to treatment. While I still have morning stiffness and occasional flair-ups, We (My Doctor and I) are pleased with the results and hope to have this condition persist as long as we can sustain it.
This is a long post all to make a simple point about RA medications. There is no 'Cure' for this disease. 'Remission' does NOT mean that we have defeated RA. Lose Focus for a time and all the pain and stiffness and Joint damage will come back with a vengeance! Unfortunately human nature seems ready to forget pain once is is gone for a while and we think that the medications are optional. They are NOT optional and RA is quietly waiting to take over control again if we give it a chance! While each of us will have a different experience with RA, I have become convinced that Finding our Focus when it comes to whatever treatment Works for us is the Key to long term control!
Russ...
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